CAPE TOWN (In Other News) – It’s been almost a week since Zenzile Subisiso has seen the sun. A resident in a block of flats that was draped with a large banner on the weekend, Subisiso said she’d completely lost track of time and have trouble sleeping at night “whenever that is”.

Watch Don Clarke and Special Care’s pretty catchy tune about the power of your vote and how we the people are responsible for the change we want to see in our government…

JOHANNESBURG (In Other News) – The network said they were aware of the fact that the actor didn’t have a law degree, either in real life or in the series, but that he proved himself “many times over, especially in season 3”. They hope to fly the US star to South Africa as soon as possible so he can familiarise himself with local laws.

Early last month the president told delegates at a business event that Africa is the largest continent and that all the other continents can fit into it… no jokes.

Kids say the darnest things; so when these local children were asked to weigh in on what they think of the president, it turned out to be quite entertaining.

This bride needs to take a load off, step back and calm the F*** down.

Watch her new video “How to hack your backpack” for a good laugh and a few neat back to school hacks.

JOHANNESBURG (In Other News) – Giving his political career a much needed shot in the arm, former president Thabo Mbeki has released the first of a series of letters to clear his name. Analysts believe the timing of letters points to a “complex and multi-layered” attempt from the ousted leader to regain power.

Look, if there’s one place you don’t want to be putting a live snake it’s within striking distance of your manhood.

JOHANNESBURG (In Other News) – Convicted murderer Oscar Pistorius said he will take his case to a Kangaroo Court should his latest appeal filed with South Africa’s Constitutional Court fail. The Olympian told reporters it was the logical next step after he “bounced from court to court” the past three years.

Have a look as this girl, without so much as a squeek, reaches out and grabs an approaching cobra behind the head. Real or fake?

If there’s one person who’s got all the credentials to set the record… hum, straight; it’s Mzanzi’s best-loved tannie. Have a look as she takes a swipe at recent news events.

This January, Barry Hilton is performing for all his cousins Down Under in limited shows at Australia’s most iconic venues. Unsurprisingly, tickets are selling fast, so book now to avoid disappointment.

Oh dear, looks like whoever was in charge should go back to school, or at least have a few more people overseeing the final preparations.

The man just can’t say not a good oll’ shuffle when the opportunity presents itself.

JOHANNESBURG (In Other News) – Not everyone is happy about the arrival of Netflix in South Africa. Yesterday the National Professional Teachers’ Organisation of South Africa (NAPTOSA) slammed the streaming service claiming it could disrupt the class of 2016.

What’s life without a little bit of fun, hey?

Time for some comic relief and boy do we need it. This clip pokes fun at all those gluten free, wheat free fun free folks who like… totally don’t do bread hey.

Ever been so mad that you just had to knock noggins with someone else? Well, this basketball coach did just that.

2016’s only just kicked off and we’re already seeing videos like this… it’s going to be a great year for entertainment folks. Have a look as this oke gives his class a run for their money.

EVERYWHERE (In Other News) – South Africans across the board are taking great strides to distance themselves from serial racists. The mad scramble to get away comes in the wake of remarks made by racists online.

CAPE TOWN (In Other News) – South African president Jacob Zuma has committed himself to finding out what a hashtag is. The presidential search forms part of an aggressive set of New Year’s resolutions aimed at bringing the president “up to date” with social media.

The man touches on everything from why women should have children to how Christianity is the cause of Africa’s problems and even talks about his perfect wife…

Best way to start the week? Just over two minutes of Jacob Zuma laughing at just about everything.

(In Other News) – Massive swathes of the South African population are having a hard time keeping themselves busy over the holiday period. Most affected by the scourge are men in their late thirties to early fifties and people without smartphones.