How to f&%k up your Oktoberfes

How to f&%k up your Oktoberfest experience

Ever dreamed of getting sloshed on steins at the biggest Volksfest in the world? Six million attendees, beer halls, carnival rides, endless bratwurst… When you finally make it to this big German bash, it wouldn’t be surprising if you get so excited (read: drunk) that you f%&k it all up. Here’s how…

How to f&%k up your Oktoberfes

Avoid the beer halls

Some people say the beer halls are too crowded… wrong! There are attractive Germans everywhere, singing traditional songs, dancing on benches, wanting to party with you, plus there’s an endless supply of steins. The beer halls are basically a grown-up version of Disneyland. Avoid them if you’re allergic to fun.

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Go on the carnival rides when you’re already legless

Rides always seem like a good idea, but that golden ale won’t taste so good on the way back up. Of course, being flung around after a couple of steins is an absolute blast, but an utterly inebriated roller coaster ride is asking for trouble.

Try to out-drink one of the locals

To look super cool in front of that total babe at the next table, challenge a German to a drink­off. You definitely won’t end up passed out in a corner with dried vomit on your face.

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Don’t wear a lederhosen/dirndl

No matter how old you are, playing dress up is fun (wink wink). Especially when you can dress like a sexy Bavarian. If you don’t you’ll feel, well, less fun.

Try to steal a stein from the beer halls

Bag checks are frequent and if the security guard particularly doesn’t like the look of your touristy face, you could be stuck with a hefty fine.

Refuse a good tactical vom

Sometimes this one is just necessary. Wouldn’t you rather wander off to the bathrooms to discreetly relieve yourself, than wait a bit longer and end up with it all down your Bavarian dress up?

For more tips and tricks, do yourself a favour and head to Oktoberfest with Stoke Travel. These guys are the pros and have learnt from experience how not to do it. But if you do f%#k it up, rest assured that you’re not the first and you definitely won’t be the last!