If South African politicians w

If South African politicians were superheroes… or not so superheroes

Much like the superhero multiverse, South African politics plays host to a weird spectrum of people.

If South African politicians w

Now, these aren’t Marvel heroes saving the world from imminent destruction. Nope, these are the heroes you won’t see saving the day want saving the day.

Helen Zille – Leader of the DA

Rainbow Girl

Hero: Rainbow Girl
Superpower: Rainbow Zille has the power to influence the entire spectrum of human emotions, but unfortunately all she manages is to confuse her opposition into calling her a racist madam.

Julius Malema – Leader of the EFF


Hero: Thunderer
Superpower: Despite being able to yell really, really loudly, he’s not really all that useful.

Blade Nzimande – minister of higher education

Colour Kid

Hero: Colour Kid
Superpower: He’s got the power to change anything into whichever colour he wants, so white becomes black and right becomes wrong… in his books.

Tina Joemat-Pettersson – Minister of Energy

Squirrel Girl

Hero: Squirrel Girl
Superpower: She’s got sharp claws and buck teeth capable of chewing through anything, even constitutional laws governing nuclear power agreements.

Bantu Holomisa – Leader of the UDM


Hero: Dazzler

Superpower: Well, Dazzler is able to convert music into disco lights and much like the UDM, disco is dead.

Pieter Mulder – Leader of the Freedom Front Plus


Hero: Cypher
Superpower: Despite his insane intelligence, he’s really only known for his hair… oh and switching sides when it suits him.

Marius Fransman – ANC Western Cape Leader


Hero: Arm-Fall-Off-Boy
Superpower: Breaks off his own arms and, much like Fransman’s political prowess, uses them as blunt weapons.

Jacob Zuma – Leader of the ANC

Hindsight Lad

Hero: Hindsight lad
Superpower: He’s got 20/20 hindsight, but it seldom stops him from making the same stupid mistakes in the future.