Mbalula quotes

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18 Quotes from South African politicians that’ll make you laugh, cry and despair

From Fikile Mbalula’s alternative treatment for constipation to Julius Malema ‘s support for legalising weed, South Africa’s politicians don’t mince their words.

Mbalula quotes

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  1. “We learnt more about Planet Zuma than the country we live in because, you see, on Planet Zuma there is no jobs crisis,” said DA leader Mmusi Maimane at the 2016 State of the Nation Debate. And so the #PlanetZuma trend started.

  2. “We apologise to President Mandela for allowing Mr Zuma to ruin his legacy and turning South Africa into a junk country,” Julius Malema.

  3. “I won’t guess. I can’t be a sangoma.” JZ himself when asked about Glencore’s licence in 2015.
  4. “They live on a planet of their own making where their leader composes fairytales full of monsters that are a figment of his imagination. He tried to use fairytales as his ‘let’s pretend I will rule one day’,” Science and Technology Minister Naledi Pandor in 2016, taking aim at Mmusi Maimane’s “#PlanetZuma” speech.

  5. “It is not honourable, it is someone who runs a brothel.” Congress of the People MP Deidre Carter didn’t like being called a madam in 2016.

  6. “Now I understand why they built the buses that are too big for the BRT lanes in Nelson Mandela Bay. This is to ensure that Zuma had something big enough to throw people under.” DA chief whip John Steenhuisen trying his stand-up routine in the house again.

  7. “We will use bicycles, donkey-carts, cars, lorries, trucks, buses, trains, planes, helicopters, ships, boats, and all forms of transport.” Mbuyiseni Ndlozi on the EFF’s plans for campaigning during the 2016 local government elections.

  8. “Me? Well, I don’t know, I must go to a dictionary and learn what a crook is. I’ve never been a crook.” Jacob Zuma speaking to the BBC’s Panorama in 2008.

  9. “Mr Zupta, your presidency can be summed up in three words: Umshin’wami. Nkandla. Guptas … I am leaving. I cannot debate. You are not a legitimate president. Bye-bye!” Jullius Malema, again.

  10. “Look at them, jumping from their chairs like popcorn.” UDM leader Bantu Holomisa during the Zuma no-confidence debate in November 2016.

  11. “He can’t be a member of Parliament when he’s discharged himself. In English he’s called a scoundrel.” COPE president Mosiuoa Lekota during the 2017 State of the Nation address, referring to Zuma.

  12. “We are self-made‚ he just bought it affiliated. We built it ground up‚ and you got it renovated and still killed it.” Ndlozi quoting Rick Ross‘ Blowin Money Fast in a speech back in 2016.

  13. “He is going to need this handkerchief.” DA Eastern Cape leader Athol Trollip helping out Police Minister Nathi Nhleko with the sweat when he had to explain that the firepool was just a swimming pool.

  14. “To be honest, sometimes Zuma just feels like one big fake news on a website.” Save SA convener Sipho Pityana before this year’s State of the Nation address.

  15. “They want to inject members of the EFF with biological agents that will deactivate them for the rest of the day.” Floyd Shivambu at the 2017 State of the Nation address, before chaos unfolded. 
  1. “I was brought up in a different era. Respect is the key to our culture.” IFP leader Mangosuthu Buthelezi, on why he did not walk out of Parliament during Sona2017. 
  1. “If you come with some shenanigans of trying to disrupt, we will deal with your constipation that comes haphazardly.” ANC NEC member Fikile Mbalula before the People’s Assembly. Who needs Senna? 
  1. “I have seen a lot of people smoke it, and read and not have any problems. But I have never seen people drink alcohol and read books afterwards.” Julius Malema on why he supports the legalisation of weed.