confident children

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Parenting: How to raise confident children

Confidence is vitally important to a person’s happiness, health, and success. Confident children are better equipped to deal with peer pressure, responsibility, frustrations, challenges, and both positive and negative emotions.

confident children

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Confidence is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give their child. The biggest enemies of confidence are discouragement and fear. A child who lacks confidence will be reluctant to try new or challenging things because she is scared of failing or disappointing others. It’s your job to encourage and support your child as she attempts to tackle difficult tasks.

Ensure they know your love is unconditional

The way we see our kids (or the way our kids believe we see them) has a profound impact on the way they see themselves. Make it clear to your children that you love and care for them.

Appreciate effort no matter if they win or lose

When you’re growing up, the journey is more important than the destination. Your children should never feel embarrassed for trying. Over the long haul, consistently trying hard builds more confidence than intermittently doing well.

Encourage practice to build competence

Encourage your children to practise whatever it is they’re interested in — but do so without putting too much pressure on them. Practice invests effort in the confident expectation that improvement will follow.

Let them figure out problems by themselves

If you do the hard work for your child then she’ll never develop the abilities or the confidence to figure out problems on her own.

Encourage curiosity in children

Sometimes a child’s endless stream of questions can be tiresome, but this should be encouraged. Asking questions is a helpful exercise for children’s development because it means they realise that there are things they don’t know. When children start school, those from households that encouraged curious questions have an edge over the rest of their classmates because they’ve had practice taking in information from their parents and that translates to taking in information from their teacher. In other words, they know how to learn better and faster.

Give children new challenges

Show your child that she can set and accomplish small goals to reach a big accomplishment. Parents can nurture confidence by increasing responsibilities that must be met.

Avoid creating short cuts or making exceptions for your child

Special treatment can communicate a lack of confidence. Entitlement is no substitute for confidence.

Never criticise their performance

Nothing will discourage your child more than criticising his or her efforts. Giving useful feedback and making suggestions is fine — but never tell them they’re doing a bad job.

If your kid is scared to fail because she worries you’ll be angry or disappointed, she’ll never try new things. More often than not, parental criticism reduces the child’s self-evaluation and motivation.

Make special time together

Love and acceptance are key components of confidence and self-worth, so parents should spend quality time with their children to demonstrate that they are valuable.

Treat mistakes as building blocks for learning

Learning from mistakes builds confidence, but this only happens when you, as a parent, treat mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow. Don’t be over-protective of your child. Allow them to mess up every now and then, and help them understand how they can better approach the task next time. 

Teach children what you know how to do

You are your child’s hero — at least until she becomes a teenager. 

Use that power to teach them what you know about how to think, act, and speak. Set a good example, and be a role model.

Ask them for their advice or opinion

Ask children for their advice or opinion in age-appropriate situations to show that you value them and their ideas. This also helps children build confidence by demonstrating that even adults need help sometimes, and it’s okay to ask for it.

Don’t allow children to escape reality by spending all their time on the internet

Don’t allow your kid to hide behind a computer screen. Instead, encourage them to engage with real people in the real world.

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