New parents: Your precious baby, the pandemic and coping strategies

Ever since my maternity leave started in December, I have spent time trying to figure out how I am going to juggle working, the baby, and my personal life. It’s about three months later and the whole world is plagued by a pandemic that we did not see coming. I am a first-time mom trying to navigate my way through motherhood, and honestly I don’t want to be dealing with any of this. But sadly, I don’t have a choice.

So, if you are a parent who might be anxious during these confusing times, below are five recommendations on how to handle our temporary new way of living:

1. Don’t feel guilty

Yes, mom (or dad) guilt is probably at its all-time high. Take the courage to be real and embrace your vulnerability. Thereafter, respond with positivity: you have come a long way and have been constantly trying to make the best decisions for your loved ones. It’s also good to note though that feeling of guilt is a focus on behaviour and society’s expectations on how you should raise your child. However, now is the time to acknowledge our reality and accept that people will always have something to say about the decisions we make.

You can only do so much. So, step away from all the chaos and take a deep breath. It must be difficult for co-parents, especially if another parents is alone and far away from their other family members. But we can only do the best we can, and if there is anything that your child needs right now, it is a parent who puts their child’s health first. Yes it’s so sad that they don’t get to see their children on a regular basis anymore, but how beautiful is it that they are putting their child’s health first?

2. Continue to strive

It sounds crazy right? People are losing their jobs or are forced to go to work because they are classified as essential workers. Businesses are closing down and in extreme cases, families are sadly losing their loved ones. But in as much as we could not predict that the world would come down to this, we don’t know what is waiting for us after all of this is over. So if you were looking for a job, continue to edit your CV and distribute it online. Can’t go to the gym anymore? Try to exercise around the house or your yard, continue eating healthy and focus on getting enough rest. Remember, your children are absorbing your way of handling pressure. They need to see their parent exercising healthy reactions to difficult situations. So give attention to positive things and people.

3. Appreciate the moments

You might feel robbed of the chance to go out for a walk with your baby, but embrace the precious moments that are created indoors. Your child is still getting to know you better, they are still in love with you. You are watching them grow right before your eyes, and this would’ve happened at the park anyway. Appreciate the fact that the lockdown allows you to have minimal exposure to the virus as there is less contact with people, especially the ones that don’t practise good hygiene protocol.

4. Take the help

To admit we need help would mean that we are incompetent parents right? Nope! An exceptional parent gracefully takes in help because it allows them to breathe and focus on other important things. So relax, your child will not judge you for allowing an aunt to feed them. There are countless numbers that you can call if you ever need help from the government with regards to food parcels, legal and even health issues.

Most importantly, if you are in a situation where you could offer help or donate, please do. It will make all of this a little bit bearable for someone out there.

5. Stay home

It’s the best decision for you, your loved ones and the world. Hopefully, the more we try to do this, the more we curb the disease and get back to our lives. If you are an essential worker, remember the first recommendation above. And always remember that you will always be a hero in your children’s eyes.

For now, just know you are doing an excellent job, it shows by the way your children light up every time they see you.

This content has been created as part of our freelancer relief programme. We are supporting journalists and freelance writers impacted by the economic slowdown caused by #lockdownlife.

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