Rassie Erasmus reveals: The day I hid in change room and cried!

It’s seems like a lifetime ago that Rassie Erasmus served a double World Rugby ban as a result of his infamous 62-minute video in which he criticised the governing body’s match officials – in particular Australian referee Nic Berry – after the first British & Irish Lions series Test in July 2021.

The widely-circulated Erasmus video about the officials led to one of the biggest controversies the game has seen, although Rassie always insisted that he never leaked the video, which was subsequently verified.

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In his book Rassie: Stories of Life and Rugby, Erasmus has now spoken about his emotions after the second Test against the Lions, which was played just days after the controversial video came into the public domain.

“While Jacques (Nienaber) and the assistants in the coaches’ box high-fived each other (after the Boks won 27-9), I ran into the change room and hid behind the Jacuzzis. I had so much pent up emotion that I lay down and cried with relief. We hadn’t won the series yet, but I had stuck my neck out such a long way and was really feeling the intense scrutiny.

“Someone had leaked the video and now I was being called a sore loser, unprofessional, pathetic, a terrible sportsman, every insult you could think of.”

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A week after the second Test, the Springboks wrapped up the series with a last-gasp victory secured through a famous Morne Steyn penalty.

“As the Springbok celebrations erupted on the field, I again ran into the change room and hid behind the Jacuzzis. Once again I was overwhelmed with relief. If we had lost, the backlash would have been extreme.

“None of the previous battles would have been worth it. But we had won, and I felt, ‘Okay, sh*t, the Springbok name has been saved.”

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Emotional rollecoaster

Last year, in an exclusive interview with the Daily Mail, Erasmus also revealed what a toll that whole time took on him and his family.

“I want people to know that I’m not this monster that I’ve been portrayed as,” he said in an interview with highly-regarded England-based writer Nik Simon.

“Did you know my sister lives in Reading? She’s a social worker for the NHS. Fully invested in the English life. She loves the Royal Family, sings God Save the Queen and would stand outside clapping for the old guy, Sir Tom, who walked up and down his garden 100 times during the lockdown.

“After what happened during the Lions tour, it felt like her family in the UK were the only people outside of South Africa who didn’t hate me. How do you think that makes you feel? It feels awful, man….

“Listen, I have never been a suit-and-tie guy who claims to be a saint. I have never said I will be a life coach. I have never had slogans like ‘better people make better rugby players’. I have never said I’m the world’s greatest father. Yeah, I’ve always been a bit naughty and enjoyed a giggle but I’ve always been an honest guy.

“People think I leaked that video. I didn’t. Who leaks something like that? Why would I screw up my whole career to do that? I’ve got twin girls, 18 years old, who are at school and they hear other parents telling them how their dad had f***** it all up. 

“My mum is at an old-age home and they’re showing her articles saying, ‘Rassie’s lost it, he’s got depression, he’s drunk’. They think those things because they are indoctrinated that I leaked that video. I want to tell the world that, swearing on my youngest child’s life, I did not leak that video. 

“Many people have already made up their mind. How do you change people’s perception when World Rugby have found me guilty and banned me for 12 months? I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. I just want them to know what really happened.”

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