Just because it’s a view doesn

Just because it’s a view doesn’t make it true

A one time game ranger come investment banker explains why we remain stubbornly committed to our way of thinking, even when we can see how damaging it might be.

Just because it’s a view doesn

Almost 25 years ago, I spent the better part of a year working as an apprentice game ranger in the Lowveld region of Mpumalanga. This period coincided with the final months of the Apartheid regime and the beginning of the end of that pernicious evil as heralded by Madiba’s release from 27 years of imprisonment. I remember well one of the lodge owners who I worked for, and his steadfast and dogmatic refusal to accept change in any form. And though I was a relatively innocent lad of 18 at the time, I was struck by the extent not only of his extremely right wing, intolerant views, but also by his stubborn refusal to embrace the possibility that things could be, nay must be, different.

But though the issue belonged to another era a long time ago, the predilection to remain uncompromisingly committed to a way of thinking is something almost all of us are familiar with on a daily basis. And it got me to wondering: what is it about our internal way of operating that leads us to hold onto our thoughts for dear life, even at our and others’ detriment?

Here’s the insight that occurred to me: when faced with thinking we take seriously, most people find it very hard to let go. The very intensity of our thinking is what makes us highly invested in it; we confuse a thought with a fact and assume that the way we are looking at the world is the only way to do so. Letting go of that requires openness, courage and an understanding that our thoughts, even when they matter a lot to us, are just that – thoughts. Stubbornness is a direct result of being overly committed to a line of thinking and failing to understand that this thinking is nothing more than the particular thoughts passing through our minds at that time. A view is just what it says on the tin. It’s what one sees through the lens of one’s vision at a given moment, an opinion generated from a particular vantage point. The problem arises when we transform our views and thinking into our own version of reality.

Just because it’s a view doesn’t make it true.

When I look back on most of my adult life, I am struck by how often, and how damaging my commitment to my thinking at almost all costs has been. Here’s one personal example, the understanding of which formed the basis for my book Redundant: an emotional and spiritual journey Redundancy.

A number of years ago, I decided to do an MBA which would serve as the catalyst for my major career shift from the charity sector to the for-profit world of financial services. This decision was predicated on some thinking that I had been holding onto for some time. I decided it was time to start building my career in a more linear way, to go into the ‘real world’, to gain appropriate levels of recognition in the eyes of others, to be better rewarded financially. In short, it was time to pursue relentlessly my recently updated (but not necessarily helpful) version of career success. I had convinced myself that my self-regard and sense of personal well-being was completely inseparable from my work accomplishments.

Except for one small problem. Come May 2013, I was suddenly and unexpectedly made redundant. I didn’t have a job anymore, so clearly the whole career thing hadn’t worked out too well. I had made being successful at work the Holy Grail; only to discover that it was elusive as ever. It had become a fixation in my mind, a necessary requirement for the life I wanted to live. I had taken my personal thinking very seriously – way too seriously as it turned out. Being made redundant brought me to a crucial inflection point in my life that demanded I find the courage and resilience to answer some very important questions. Could I let go of my notion of success? Could I reconnect with the deeper, softer, more spiritual dimensions of myself as a father, husband and human being that had become a sideshow in my unrelenting campaign to advance my career? Could I find the grace and equanimity that would let me move on with my life in a positive, optimistic way?

I’m still on that journey, and no doubt will be for while longer. But at least I understand something now to help me along the way. My thoughts will always be with me, but they do not have to define nor hold control over me. What I think today can, and perhaps needs be different tomorrow. Unlike Descartes, I do not believe that I think, therefore I am. That ascribes way too much power to the capacity of thought, and I’ve had quite enough of that for the moment.

To see more of Brian’s blogs and his newly published book, go to www.briankeithbooks.co.uk