Prime Minister Theresa May appears on a joint Channel 4 and Sky News general election programme recorded at Sky studios in Osterley, west London.
Prime Minister Theresa May appears on a joint Channel 4 and Sky News general election programme recorded at Sky studios in Osterley, west London.
As Robert Mugabe remains under heavy guard at his Borrowdale mansion, we got to thinking: Who else is due for house arrest?
Maybe you will find a few of these predictable, but we think it stands up. We aren’t necessarily saying they need to be deposed. Some people just need to spend more time at home and less time on the links…
Which leaders should be in line for house arrest?
1 . Donald Trump – USA
Yeah, yeah. Low-hanging fruit, we know. This isn’t a rage against his policies, however. More like a genuine concern for his health. He spends so much time on the golf course, every time we see him on TV he looks dreadfully sunburnt.
His Carbon Footprint isn’t looking great, either. Recent tours of Asia and Europe have seen him clock up more air miles than a stewardess working double shifts. Just stay indoors, Donald. One hell of wifi connection on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for your tweets.
2 . Theresa May – Britain
This has got to be for her own safety. And for her party. And for Britain, actually. The poor girl hasn’t got much right in a bizarre 18-month spell as Prime Minister. In fact, there could be a genuine argument that the Conservative Party should be on trial for genocide.
A particular highlight was when she claimed she was ‘taken by surprise’ by this year’s UK general election. It was an election she called herself, but much like a dog surprised by its own flatulence, it still caught her off guard. Just go home Theresa, put the kettle on, and let Brexit drive itself over a cliff.
3. Kim Jong-Un, North Korea
I mean. Could you imagine? Old rocket man and the tweeter-in-chief are the two most likely candidates to turn our next winter into a nuclear one. Like navigating an insolent child away from the stove, Kim needs coaxing away from the big red button. Back into his home. And into his bedroom. With no supper.
If not a house arrest, he certainly needs grounding.
4. Nicolas Maduro – Venezuela
Starting to wonder if a party that comes to power via a revolution should ever be allowed run the country. Maduro took the reigns in Venezuela after the death of former President Hugo Chavez. He’s made a monumental pigs ear of it.
Infamous for suppressing the opposition, tanking the economy and running the country like a seedy dive bar, he has managed to all-but bankrupt the country within a few years. He’s a prime candidate for house arrest.
5. Alexander Lukashenko – Belarus
Known as ‘the last dictator of Europe’, Lukashenko is a relic of the old Soviet Union days. He boasts a cult of personality, where pictures and state propaganda are emblazoned along busy highways and on tall, sky-rise buildings.
He’s an absolute wrong ‘un when it comes to homosexuality as well. He’s previously stated he’d “rather be a dictator than a homosexual”, and that he can “forgive lesbian women, but not gay men”. Never mind a house arrest, Lukashenko needs to be lashed in a bin.
6. Jacob Zuma – We couldn’t resist!
House arrest at the very least. The state-capturing, nuclear-crazed, morally-challenged, Gupta worshipping President is rumoured to have 784 criminal charges looming over him. If we could just turn Nkandla into a prison facility, it’d be a very fitting re-homing for Mr Zuma.
