Prison journalism: A Journey from Powerlessness to Empowerment: My Life’s Transformation

Growing up as a child was somewhat challenging for me. At school, I was always picked on, and I often felt hopeless and didn’t know how to control myself. They kept bullying me, but one day, I decided that enough was enough. I decided to stand up for myself, and the next day at school, when I saw the boys who had been harassing me, I confronted them and started a fight. I ended up getting injured in the process, but I didn’t care because I just wanted to take control of my life. Standing up for myself made me feel empowered, and I didn’t back down from any challenges after that.

Embracing Power and Control

I got into several more fights at school because I didn’t enjoy being pushed around, and even though I experienced pain, I felt good because I could walk with my head held high. One thing I enjoyed was having power over others and telling them what to do. It felt satisfying because, at that time, I cared only about myself. Some students liked me because I was bold, strong, and always ready to take charge. In fact, they liked me so much that I started my own group in school, and when I wasn’t around, they would report to me about what happened during the day.

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Expanding into Illicit Activities

As time passed, having control made me think of different ways to assert myself, so I began selling cigarettes at school, and I also made some money for myself. One day, one of the students who was selling cigarettes for me got caught, and he claimed that I had given them to him. However, when the principal asked me, I denied it, and they believed me, leading to the expulsion of the other student.

Confronting a Dangerous Foe

After some time, I encountered that expelled student at home, and he was angry. He had joined a gang, which made him feel even more powerful, and he threatened me with a knife. It was a terrifying moment because I felt powerless once again, but I managed to escape and told him I would be back. At this point, I didn’t know what to do or where to go because he was now involved in a gang. I returned to my group and suggested that we should start our own gang.

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The Birth of a New Gang

By the age of 16, I had gained a reputation in the area and had made a lot of money. I had the best of everything, and life seemed good. I had control over most boys and girls, and we had a wild time, not thinking much about the future. I wanted to be in control of everyone, and it felt good. After a few months with the new gang, my old friends hadn’t seen me in a while, and they thought I had abandoned them. However, I hadn’t left; I had just been busy building my own empire. At that time, there was a conflict between the two gangs, and I had money from both sides, but managing the money became challenging.

Rise and Fall in the Criminal Underworld

As time went on, I started to smoke, and I lost track of everything. Trying to do so much at a young age was difficult, and I began committing crimes, robbing people for money and taking anything I could get. What I didn’t realize was that smoking devalued me in the eyes of the gang, making it easier for them to manipulate me without my knowledge.

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The Harsh Reality of Prison

Eventually, I found myself in prison due to the actions I had taken to maintain my position in the gang. Life in prison was tough; there was no clear sense of purpose, and survival became the priority. Living in a confined space with the same people for an extended period changed me, and I lost hope for myself. I lived in the moment and didn’t care about my actions or their consequences.

In the morning, we followed our gang routine, waiting for the warden to open our cell doors. We would be counted like sheep, and we had the opportunity to make complaints or requests, although I rarely shared my problems with anyone. There was a point where I had to hide a phone inside me just to make a call, and I didn’t like it, but it felt like I had no other choice.

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DISCLAIMER: Submission published as received

RESTORE is an NGO based in Cape Town, South Africa, providing inmates at Pollsmoor Prison with restorative justice opportunities.

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