9 Rugby World Cup watching eti

9 Rugby World Cup watching etiquette tips for dummies

For the men and women who have little or no interest in sport, a tough time lies ahead. Whether it’s your partner or your housemate, these tips will ensure peace in a trying time.

9 Rugby World Cup watching eti

It’s that time of once every four years where everyone pretends to know everything about rugby. Very few resist the revolution and end up as rugby widowers or widows. Fear not, we are here to help you through the tough times. Watching the Rugby World Cup is as serious as playing in it, so we’ve put together a guide to help you survive these trying times.

  1. Get two TVs or sign up for some form of digital TV subscription

Until the final whistle blows for the final game on 31 October, you are not to ask for the remote at any point. “What if there is not a game on?” we hear you whimper, well, that’s what the 24 hour highlights channel is for. The next few weeks will consist entirely of rugby on TV. All the time. Your partner won’t even notice that you’re gone.

  1. There are no safe moments to touch the remote

No, you can’t switch over to catch up on the Kardashians during half-time or during the ad break. Just leave the remote alone because if even a millisecond of rugby is missed, there will be trouble.

  1. Limit your talking

Talking during the game is allowed during the match but only and if only the words used are short and to the point. Communicating in a variety of grunts is preferred. For example: aarrrrrgh, can be used when somebody needlessly kicks away possession, uugghghhhhhggghh is used when a referee makes a bad decision and eeeeeeehhhhh is preferred when your partner’s team does something right.

  1. Full sentences are allowed during the game if…

…you are talking about the referee. Reference to his lack of ability to actually play and understand the game is welcomed. You can also mention bias. This needs to be in a shouty tone.

  1. Do not pass in front of the television

Seriously, even if you think that there is a lull in play and it’s safe to walk in front of the television, just don’t do it. It’s disruptive. It is therefore vital that you plan your sitting strategy carefully. If you decide that you will make it through the game then you need to sit down for all of it. If there is any chance that you might flake, then you need to sit in a space where you will not be disrupting viewing.

  1. Never, ever, ever utter the words: It’s just a game

This is quite possibly the worst possible thing you can say to anyone watching the World Cup. It is NOT just a game, it’s everything and more, especially if South Africa are playing New Zealand or the Aussies and sometimes when they play the English.

  1. Keeping the snacks and drinks topped up is appreciated

But only if this does not disrupt the viewing. For example: you cannot top up a biltong bowl if it means you have to pass in front of the TV to do so (see point four). It is worth keeping this in mind when strategically planning your sitting.

  1. You are not allowed to laugh

Rugby watching is a serious thing and watching it is serious business. Under no circumstances are you allowed to laugh if your partner 1. Cries during the anthems, 2. Falls to the floor in screaming agony and goes into the foetal position as a result of the torment, 3. When a player loses his shorts, 4. When a player gets hit in the goolies.

  1. Do not cheer for a team because of a SuperBru pick

Chances are even if you know nothing about rugby, you have probably been roped into a SuperBru pool. It’s great that you are showing enthusiasm but if you are watching with your partner, under no circumstances should you cheer for the team you picked if he or she is supporting the opposite side.

  1. Do not mention American football

This is important. Rugby is nothing like American football, the two are not comparable and if you know nothing about sport or you are from America, do not compare the two. It will only end in tears.


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