Kolisi: Why I broke down in tears during Lions tour

In the lead-up to the all-important second Test between the Springboks and British & Irish Lions, Siya Kolisi had faced what was self-admittedly his most challenging week as a captain.

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After the Boks’ defeat in the opening encounter, director of rugby Rassie Erasmus produced a now infamous video highlighting a host of dubious refereeing decision, which also including instances where he felt officials had showed the South Africans a lack of respect – particularly Kolisi as captain.

This all came against the backdrop of a challenging few months for the Springbok flank, who had completed a life-changing move from the Stormers to the Sharks earlier in the year, while finding himself in a race against time to rediscover his best fitness and form prior to the highly-anticipated Lions tour.

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Kolisi and the Springboks had also been confined to a strict bio-bubble environment, while the captain was one of those sent into isolation after a Covid-outbreak spread through the camp just before the first Test against the Lions.

Reflecting on the highs and lows of this year as the Boks prepared to head into the final three Tests of the season, Kolisi specifically pinpointed the second week of the Lions tour as an emotionally-charged experience like no other.

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“You know, it gets so intense with rugby in South Africa. It’s not just any other sport; people connect differently with rugby. Obviously, other sports count too, but it’s just so much more intense with rugby, because of 1995. So, the second week was tough. I was talking to (my wife) Rachel, and you know, mental health-wise, it gets to a point where you think that if you lose this next game, everything is going to end.

“Having those kinds of pressures is really difficult, and I remember having an interview with (well-known broadcaster) Elma (Smit), and she was asking me a simple question: ‘What would you be telling a nine-year-old Siya?’ And I just started crying – not because of the question but because I knew that if we lose this game, we’re done. That was tough, and afterwards I went to the bathroom to be on my own, I didn’t want anyone to see me. I spoke to Rachel and said ‘I’m crying!’. She just said ‘it’s good, it’s good: let it out!’ Then we played and won, and it got better.”

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Leading from the front himself, Kolisi produced a couple of sensational performances in the two winning performances against the Lions. Similarly, he was one of the standout players in the memorable back-to-back Tests against the All Blacks earlier this year.

“What was good was the way that we pulled together as a team,” Kolisi commented. “I don’t know why we South Africans always seem to wait until we have our backs against the wall and then get going, and get behind each other. But yes, that was one of the highlights, winning that game, and also the last game against New Zealand.

“Losing three games in a row in Australia was horrible, and once again you get reminded of how much the Springboks mean to people. Some of them were saying it’s just going to be like we were in 2016 (when the Boks lost eight games that year), but inside, you know that there’s a few things that you can fix to win the game and we started to pull together and won.”

The Springboks are set to start their end-of-year tour with a clash against Wales this Saturday, with coach Jacques Nienaber naming a new-look backline on Tuesday.