9 Things rugby rookies should know to get through the Rugby World Cup
If you’ve only ever seen rugby on Friends and need some pointers for getting through the next two months, we’ve got some help.
Over the course of the next few weeks you should ready yourself for every man and his dog to be talking about the Rugby World Cup. While Rugby doesn’t quite have the reach of the Soccer World Cup (yet), it’s still a pretty big deal. The thing with sports that are a big deal is that once every four years everyone, even those with absolutely zero interest in it, has to pretend they know what they are talking about.
- Do not confuse rugby with American football or rugby league or even Aussie rules
Do not confuse Rugby Union with anything other than rugby union. But especially do not confuse it with American helmet ball. American Football, although it looks brutal, is comparatively mild compared to rugby. American football is like having your toe nails pedicured by the delicate hands of a beautician while rugby is like having them extracted with garage tools and then running it off while tackling people.
- It’s all about the points
Pretty simple. Like all sports, whoever scores more points wins. You can score points in a few ways – by putting the ball down over the try line (for five points) or kicking it over the poles. But not all kicks over the poles are created equal. Penalties are three points and conversions (the thing you kick after you touched the ball over the try line) is worth two points.
- The brutal violence is justified because they talk nicely to the ref
For a sport where big ass men almost cup each other’s’ balls in an embrace, rugby can actually get pretty violent. Stomping, stamping, biting, beating, eye gouging and tackles that will make you shake by osmosis as you watch it through the TV screen are part and parcel of this lovely sport. While it will make most people watch in horror and insist that their kids would never play this sort of thing, it can all be justified because rugby players are ever so well disciplined. There’s none of that nagging, whinging soccer player stuff – issues are between the captain and Mr. Ref. Yes, Mr. Ref, no, Mr. Ref.
- Seriously, rugby players are bad ass
5. A maul is not related to Star Wars
No, a maul is not that horny black and red guy from the movies. It’s the battle for a ball that has not touched the ground.
- A hooker is not what you think
Like so many other sports, rugby is filled with innuendo. A hooker is not an in-game booty call. He’s the guy who has to “hook” the ball out of the scrum.
- The scrum is that thing where men stick their heads between each other’s legs
Sexy, right?
- Rugby can look a bit like really intense cuddling
You will see a lot of players on the ground, piling on top of each other. Now, while this might look like really intense cuddling of men who can weight over 100kg, it’s all part of the strategy, do not be fooled. These men are not friendly when it comes to game time. You do not want to be part of that cuddle.
- If you give the sport half a chance, you will fall in love with it
It’s hard and brutal and often infuriating, but if you give it a bit of time, rugby has a beautiful elegance to it. The underdog taking down the big guys, the genius of creating space, the intercepted tries, the flying over the whitewash, the last minute drop goals and the crowd cheering in full voice all adds to the magic and there is nothing more magical than the World Cup.
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