Opinion: Men get hurt when you

SANDTON, SOUTH AFRICA – MAY 11: Agnes Mokoena, in red, leaves the Sandton police station with two relatives on May 11, 2017 in Sandton, South Africa. Mokeona’s daughter Karabo was found murdered and burnt beyond recognition. (Photo by Gallo Images / Sowetan / Thulani Mbele)

Opinion: Men get hurt when you call them trash… I think women would happily trade you their problems for yours

Rejoice: Our economy is junk, and our men are trash.

Opinion: Men get hurt when you

SANDTON, SOUTH AFRICA – MAY 11: Agnes Mokoena, in red, leaves the Sandton police station with two relatives on May 11, 2017 in Sandton, South Africa. Mokeona’s daughter Karabo was found murdered and burnt beyond recognition. (Photo by Gallo Images / Sowetan / Thulani Mbele)

If I had a rand for every time I have seen #MenAreTrash trend, I’d have enough money to get a vacuum for every bloke offended by it, to help them suck it up.

Why does it happen? Because men, in general, can’t stop being utter let downs in one way or another. Whether it’s fat-shaming, mansplaining or unsolicited Richard pics (that’s the civil way of saying it), women are constantly having to battle the everyday annoyances that come with sharing the planet with males.

The truth is though, as much as people can use it as a put-down and a fun way to express dismay with men, the root of it all is completely sinister and it needs to be recognised.

The barbaric murder of Karabo Mokoena was like a dagger to the heart for most of us reading it. Another woman who has been slayed by the person meant to protect her. Guess what the second-top trend behind the Mokoena condolences was?

Guys who take offence to “men are trash” need to start taking offence to something a lot more real than a hashtag. Where is that outrage when a story like this breaks? Where is that anger when somebody’s daughter is butchered at the hands of someone utterly despicable?

Read: Angie Motshekga says women shouldn’t be so sensitive to sexist comments

Our women are scared. They are frightened and they are vulnerable. It’s not just because of the violence and the criminals, though. They are unfortunate enough to face a barrage of criticism for making their feelings known. There are thousands of men committing diabolical acts, but what is EVEN WORSE is a woman with an opinion…

You call a man trash, and he’ll call you something far worse. What a great way to prove the point.
Spare me the “not all men” narrative as well, whilst we are at it. If you are reading up on something like this and feel the need to defend yourself by effectively saying “well, I’m not a murderer. I’m not guilty. I haven’t done this. Why blame us?”, then what kind of standards are you trying to set yourself? If you want a pat on a back for never assaulting someone, then I’m afraid we have to raise the bar.

Watch: South African doctor exposes sexism, bullying in the workplace

I’m not advocating the rounding-up and trial-by-fire of all men (that would be a huge personal inconvenience) but what I am saying is that – collectively – men need to accept that the way women are treated in society is still so terribly far away from what we know as equality.

We can bridge this gap just by being ‘decent’, fellas. It’s not that hard, and it doesn’t come with a handbook. Little things like refusing to stand for collective and aggressive abuse towards women is where we can start. Too many of us refuse to be the first ones to say ‘enough is enough’.

It’s all too easy to be passive when you hear something you don’t agree with. Standing up for our girls isn’t a bandwagon we can just jump on and off conveniently. If you really do want to be seen as an example of ‘not all men’, you should start acting like it.

Start doing the things that separate you from ‘all men’ and try and do what’s right – not what’s easy. If we can do this, we might just begin the ascent out of the trash.