Oscar Pistorius to be released

Oscar Pistorius to be released on medical parole, diagnosed with white privilege

The Bladerunner will be joining the ranks of Schabir Shaik and the late Jackie Selebi as the newest member of the medical parole club.

Oscar Pistorius to be released

Pistorius’ doctors have expressed their concerns about the disgraced athlete’s living arrangements and dietary programme.

“We’ve noticed a general shortage of lattes, out of season avocado and other elements of everyday white privilege,” said Oscar’s physician, known only as Wouter.

While the department of correctional facilities is on the hunt for an adequate golf estate to house Pistorius, his fans have been keeping him occupied with comforting letters from his favourite waitresses and club doormen.

Happy April 1st.