Mother's Day


Ten highly inappropriate Valentines Day quotes for the cynics

If you find it all a bit farcical, keep these quotes on hand for the big day

Mother's Day


Wednesday is the day our social media news feeds will be full of Valentines Day quotes and the trivial competitions of “who got what, and how much for?” – It’s an event a lot of us could do with out. So why not reclaim our day back?

Though it is a very cutesy, couples-centric time of the year – which forces men in particular to buck their ideas up – it doesn’t cater for singletons, or those who feel that there should not be ‘one official day’ to show love to your other half.

So, you should know us by now, we love a bit of dark humour here. We’ve picked out ten amusing Valentines Day quotes that do not share the spirit of the day one bit. It’s the anti-Valentines handbook, and it’s all yours to keep.

Highly inappropriate Valentines Day quotes…

The downright cynical:

“A vasectomy means never having to say you’re sorry”

Larry Adler, on finding a surefire way to avoid apologies.

“You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.”

– Hussein Nishah has clearly never been bitten by the love bug.

“The only difference between some of the people I’ve dated and Charles Manson, is that Manson has the decency to look like a nutcase when you first meet him.”

– We’ve all been where Richard Jeni has been, right?

“Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day”

Jay Leno with a trademark bit of satire, there.

The jokers in the pack:


And the totally rude, inappropriate, and NSFW ones:

(Be My Anti Valentine)

Ok, eww! That’s enough Valentines cynicism from us now. Whatever you end up doing – lucky or unlucky in love – remember you are good enough, and one day on the calendar shouldn’t define your relationship status any differently.

Also read: Naughty Valentines Day cards for the dirty minds out there