Yep, you read that right, folks. Real-life Tinder horror story!
Tinder horror stories can be quite grueling, but this one surely takes the cake. A new Tinder horror story has come to light involving a woman who got stuck upside down in a window after she tried to retrieve her poo.
Bristol University postgraduate student, Liam Smith explained the hilarious record of events on a crowdfunding page saying he went on a Tinder date in early August. After a bite to eat at Nandos, he and his date, an amateur gymnast, ended up at Liam’s house to watch a Scientology documentary.
She apparently got up and went to the bathroom when things took an ugly turn.
In there she reportedly panicked because her feces did not flush, and decided to reprimand the situation by throwing it out of the window. What she didn’t expect was for the feces to become wedged between two non-opening windows.
Liam said she came back and with a “panicked look in her eye” told him what she had done.
“I was understandably concerned, and told her we would go outside, bag up the offending poo in the garden, bin it, and pretend the whole sorry affair had never happened. Unfortunately, owing to a design quirk of my house, the toilet window does not in fact open to the garden, but instead into a narrow gap of about a foot and a half, separated from the outside world by another (non-opening) double glazed window. It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo.”
Liam decided to find a hammer and smash the window, but she decided to climb in head first after her own turd, where she “reached deeper into the window, bagged it up, and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet”, before she eventually got stuck.
“I was starting to grow concerned, so I called the fire brigade and once they had composed themselves, they set to work removing her from the window,” said Liam.
It seems the woman was rescued unharmed, but Liam’s window was destroyed. Speaking to the BBC, he’s been quoted north of £300 to replace the window and as a postgraduate student, that is a significant chunk of his monthly budget. Hence the crowdfunding page.
Luckily, he’s already raised £2,052 of his £200 goal. He said he and his date decided to split the extra cash between two charities, one supporting firefighters and another that builds and maintains flushing toilets in developing countries.
Unsurprisingly, the woman does not want to be named but Liam said he had seen her since and “who knows what the future holds”.
Well, well, well…