Image via Adobestock
The Ten best Christmas jokes of 2019 for festive jokers
‘Tis the season to be jolly and what better way to get into the spirit than with ten of the best/worst Christmas jokes.
Image via Adobestock
One of the most treasured traditions during the festive season is coming together around the table to enjoy a meal and share in Christmas jokes.
The collective groan of a group of friends and family subjected to the wonder that is Christmas cracker jokes is as much a sound of the season as that famous Mariah Carey bop.
If you’re considering making your own Christmas crackers we’ve combed repositories of knowledge for the best/worst jokes to stuff inside.
Christmas jokes
1. Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.
2 Why do Christmas trees like the past so much? Because the present’s beneath them.
3 Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints.
4 How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life.
5 Two snowmen were standing in a field. One said, “Can you smell carrots?” (Pete Potty Mumford)
6 Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no body to go with.
What do you call an elf who sings?
— Elaine Brandon (@ElaineBrandon) December 17, 2019
A wrapper.#WritingCommunity #lamejokes #dadjoke #christmasjokes #SorryNotSorry
Aaaand, back to work ? pic.twitter.com/aLuNCxce3r
7 How much do Orlando Pirates pay for their Corn? A Buccaneer.
8 What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days.
How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus' weight when he was born?
— Dzintra Sullivan – Author (@DzintraSullivan) December 21, 2019
They had a weigh in a manger.
????
Anyone seen a wise man?
Bueller?
Bueller? #lamertamer #lamemeupSanta #christmasjokes #WritingCommunity #writer pic.twitter.com/by079QEbBQ
9 How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels. (We have just gone ahead and reused this one from 2016.)
10 Why has Boris Johnson bought mistletoe this year? Because he’s tired of being in the single market!
*Disclaimer: I didn’t write any of these and am considered to have zero sense of humour by most who have made my acquaintance.
Have a jolly Christmas.
Tags:
