The key to living a happy life may be forgiveness

Hennie Terblanche, sport and life coach, explains how important it is to open your heart to the possibility of forgiveness.

“Think carefully about the word forgiveness. Let your thoughts flow. It’s amazing to experience the thoughts that go through your head when you let go, allowing yourself to wonder about these things.”

Don’t fight it

Don’t stop any emotion or feeling you might experience. Think carefully about each and every thought. Ask yourself honest questions. What does the term forgiveness mean to you? When will the time be right to forgive someone or yourself? What is keeping you from forgiving? Why do you struggle? In which way is forgiveness part of your life? What steps do you need to take in order to be able to forgive?

To forgive is a choice

To forgive is a choice. It might be easier said than done. If you work or live with someone or see someone on a regular basis who affects your life in a negative way, it might become a challenge. In a situation like this, it’s best to tackle this challenge to forgive.

We grew up with hearing “forgive but don’t forget”. If you live according to these words, you will never discover true forgiveness. The only reason for anyone to use these words, is to be able to somewhere in the future still refer to what happened.

We often forget that the person who forgives afterwards feels free. Many people don’t want to forgive because of broken trust in a relationship. To forgive does not mean to drop everything and carry on as usual. Just start by thinking about giving this person a second chance.

Ask yourself what the reason is for your inability to forgive. Mostly, people find that certain situations hurt people more than others. The main reason is the feeling of taking revenge on whoever hurt you in the past or making sure this person endures the same amount of pain you did.

“To hold on to any negative feelings towards someone else in order to get back at them, is like drinking the poison yourself, but expecting someone else to die. The poison only affects your body and your health,” says Terblanche.

Make the decision

Go and make the choice to handle any uncomfortable situation immediately. Do not let that feeling grow inside of you and later on make it impossible for you to forgive. Learn how to evaluate situations and decide where you focus your energy.

This content has been created as part of our freelancer relief programme. We are supporting journalists and freelance writers impacted by the economic slowdown caused by #lockdownlife.

If you are a freelancer looking for a small fee to contribute to The South African, read more here.