20 Christmas jokes that’ll imp

20 Christmas jokes that’ll impress even the wittiest guests

No Christmas is complete without some cracker jokes!

20 Christmas jokes that’ll imp

If you find yourself running out of things to talk about during Christmas dinner, tell some of these jokes to impress your wittiest friends or family members.

You will ‘crack them up!’.

1.
angelina

2. “What’s David Cameron’s favorite Christmas song? All I Want For Christmas is EU.”

3. “What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues.”

4. “What’s the difference between the clementine in your Christmas stocking and Donald Trump? Nothing, they’re both a little orange.”

5. “What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!”

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7. “I can’t get to the chocolates in my advent calendar. Foiled again.”

8.

hillary-2-joke

9. “Why is Bob Dylan’s sleigh so quiet? Because it has Nobel.”

10. “What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!”

11. “Philip looks out of the window on Christmas Eve: ‘That’s some reindeer’ he says. The Queen replies: ’63 years. Yes, that is a lot.”

12. “What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum – you just can’t beat it.”

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14. “How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.”

15. “Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Because their days are numbered.”

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17. “What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!”

18. “What’s the difference between Bono and Santa? Santa gives you things you want.”

19. “What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? Get out of my face.”

20. “What do you call an elf who sings?  A wrapper!”